Ashaabism

The writer Abd al-Kader Abduly

Translated by me (Tareq Nman )

Whenever someone mentions the name ‘Ashaab’, the only image that occurs to us – considering that we tend to remember only disgraceful facts about our history – is his love for food, parasitism and gluttony. We ignore his great achievements and accomplishments of which the significance exceeds the greatness of his gluttony.

Ashaab is the founder of the most important theory about media in history. He preceded German Joseph Lopez – whose name is actually spelled ‘Yousef’ but we spell it ‘Joseph’ because we are francophone – by developing a theory as per which one could make lies seem truthful in media many ages earlier. Ashaab said: “Lie, and keep lying till they believe you.”

Western civilization stole all our scientific achievements and our cultural and moral values, and took advantage of our discoveries, namely blood circulation, the Astrolabe, relief of the needy, generosity and chivalry. They claim that Robin Hood is a western character, while the origin of this character goes centuries back in time when Arab tramp poets existed. They stole the Ashaabaism media theory and attributed it to Lopez.

What does ‘the Ashaabaism theory’ mean?

Let’s recall a famous story about Ashaab. We all may recognize it at first, but we may neglect to respect the media part of this story.

“Once upon a time, there was a bunch of boys that used to follow Ashaab around and make fun of him in the streets. They used to pull his clothes, torture him and call him names. Ashaab grew tired of them, so he started coming up with ways to get rid of them. And since he loved attending feasts, which to him was a very special thing to do, he said to the boys: “Hey boys, a family is having a party right now, and they are giving out free cookies for all children.” After logical comparison, the boys discovered that eating free cookies is more interesting than following him across the streets. So they left him and ran to the place he told them about. But after two or three steps, Ashaab stopped and scratched his head -he didn’t put his hand on his cheek because he liked to be original rather than mimicking the form of the THINKER statue. He said to himself: “God damn you Ashaab, you sent those kids to the feast, and forgot to go there yourself. And so he ran after the kids.”

Now in order to make a lie credible, as a liar you have to believe in it yourself. This is what Aziz Nesin, the Turkish writer, confirmed in his novel ‘The only Way’. It is important to form the lie, and then practice telling it time and time again till you become ready to tell it as a truth. Here we notice, because of the poor translation of the story of Ashaab to German and the divine protection of the copyrights of this story by God – since there weren’t any offices to protect intellectual property in the past – that Mr. Lopez was misled. He failed to achieve the most important condition in his theory “Lie, and keep lying till they believe you”, which is that the liar should believe his fake story first. The theory should say: “Lie, and keep lying till you believe yourself.” So thank God that the western people couldn’t benefit from the purport of this story and for giving us the chance to be the only people who comprehended this concept, so we can easily discover his lies.

In some of the officials around us, we see a little Ashaabism. If only one of us scratched his head – I don’t advice you to put your hands on your cheeks because it is a mimic, and we like to be original and think a little – we would be able to recall many employees and their managers of all levels who lie and believe their lies before they proceed in any matter.

I am not talking about the media, because I am not a representative and I am not a member of any establishment or media school. I am talking about less important cases. For example; an official is used to sit behind his desk in every meeting and who is, by the way, a former official now considering the new government formation. He has adopted the phrase “international arbitration”, which he throws in very frequently, while he himself was the one who issued a decision and hired two non-international experts. He has convinced himself that they are international experts. Up till now, no one has assumed that he is a liar, because he is Ashaab and we are the kids who follow and torture him.

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